We all know it’s going to be tough for Oregon to muster enough offense to defeat the Beavers on Saturday. Some have even wondered if the Ducks will manage to score another offensive touchdown in their final two games. I wonder that as well.
But I do think there’s a way to beat the Beavers. Here’s how we do it:
On first, second and third down we take a knee. Occasionally, when the defense grows tired of getting in the ready position and the D-Line stops getting down in the 3-point stance, we hand it off to Stewart or direct-snap it to Crenshaw.
We throw in a few trick plays to entertain the bowl officials in the press box: Just before snapping it, and the entire offense stops and stares at the sideline for another read, you direct snap it to Stewart who rumbles around the corner before the defense has a chance to know what’s going on (I pulled this one from my street football days as a kid, when you’d yell “car” to let everyone know there’s a car coming and to step off the street for a moment…but there really wasn’t a car. The oldest trick in the book).
On fourth down, we punt and try to pin the Beavers near the goal line. We do this in hopes of getting a safety and taking the lead (2-0 in the bottom of the 3rd sounds good to me).
We continue this throughout the game, just like a good chess match. I’d imagine this will be slightly more fun to watch than an Autzen halftime show, where some goof ball who’s never touched a football tries to throw one at some cardboard football player. But that’s up for discussion.
If we can’t manage taking them down in regulation, we take the excitement to overtime, tied at zero. (see: Civil War, 1983, where 33, 176 witnessed a zero-zero tie at Autzen). In overtime, much like hockey or soccer, we win the kick-off. But even that won’t be easy.
This is how we can beat the Beavers on Saturday.
-RW
Tags: autzen, oregon state beavers
Duck fan for life Says:
November 27th, 2007 at 10:28 pm
Retarded article…please consider a new line of work.
duckman411 Says:
November 27th, 2007 at 10:46 pm
Don’t take it so seriously ‘Duck fan for life’ it’s only a joke. You gotta be able to laugh through stuff like this.
admin Says:
November 27th, 2007 at 10:54 pm
Duck fan for life -
I think the point of the post is that we play conservative football. Even though the Beavers are tough on run defense, we should try to run the ball most of the time.
When we do decide to throw the ball, we throw it way down field. So, if we do end up throwing an interception, it’s no where near the end zone.
On defense, we look to create turnovers, hopefully turning those into points.
Overall, we try to keep them at their end of the field and try to win the field position battle.
This could be a great Civil War. Here’s the deal. Most fans and observers don’t give us much of winning. If we look at this season as being two seasons, this team is 0-2 and facing a team that has won 5 out of the last 6.
If the Ducks find a way to win, this could be one of the great Civil War wins because of the Ducks’ current circumstances.
JJ
Duckboy76 Says:
November 28th, 2007 at 8:54 am
You may have something here… I played football in the street when I was little and can personally vouch for the play involving the car! :)
jonnyU Says:
November 28th, 2007 at 8:56 am
RW,
My feeling is that Duck Nation could use a good mood level pill. Your highs are too high and your lows are too low. This is not unique to this year. One or two big wins early in a season and the Duck sports marketing machine kicks into high gear and whips the fans into a bacaanal type frenzy demanding elite status and the respect that they “deserve”. Again, we have seen this before. If your not a student of history you are destined to repeat it. I would suggest the next time the Ducks start strong, that you remember your history and the season is 12 games long now. A lot can happen to a team during that season and no marketing hype can prevent that.
The Ducks have a fabulous program that is exciting and fun to watch. But it appears to be somewhat bi-polar, manifesting clear manic-depressive tendencies.
Case in point: My Duck friends in Corvallis can’t give away their tickets to the game and they are trying everything to get rid of them.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
alhutch Says:
November 28th, 2007 at 9:42 am
jonnyU,
Thanks for your very valuable insight. It’s worth exactly what I paid for it.
By the way, only the morons in Corvallis add “Nation” after their name. We’re just Duck fans. The only nation I am a member of is the United States.
Samurhino Says:
November 28th, 2007 at 11:24 am
Thank you jonnyU for continuting to perpetuate the Duck late season fade myth…interesting that no one really looks at the facts regarding that…he we did fade last season…season before that we won three tight tough games with back up QBs against good competition.
admin Says:
November 28th, 2007 at 11:43 am
jonnyU -
We know Duck fans right here in the Eugene who can’t give their tickets away.
If you’re a Duck fan (not you specifically jonnyU) and you choose not to go to the game, I think you’re missing an opportunity to experience one of those highs (and not those highs Eugene is famous for) if the Ducks win.
There is something to be said for lowered expectations.
JJ
penjamin' Says:
November 28th, 2007 at 8:22 pm
I think we should kick field goals on 4th down if we are any where near the 50 yard line.
Steve Says:
November 29th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Samurhino:
Isn’t a 8 and 12 record in November since 2001 fact enough to validate the duck’s tendency to fade late in the season?