September 21, 2008
By Jay Jones

[Publisher's note: What are "Jay's 10 Quick Hits"? At the insistence of One Click Sports News and Duck Sports News co-manager Ryan Welch, DSN co-manager Jay Jones ceased sending Ryan costly text-messages during University of Oregon football games. Heeding this decree, Jay turned to inflicting his reactionary quips, in the form of a blog entry, on the general DSN audience, much to the displeasure of management.]

Barely escaping a neighborhood Reign of Terror by a nut-hurling squiddle (British annunciation of “squirrel”), I managed to evade bodily injury and flee to Autzen Stadium yesterday for the Oregon-Boise State football game to bring you this edition of “Jay’s 10 Quick Hits”…

“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…”: Pre-game Warm-ups

• On the KUGN 590AM pre-pre-game show with Steve Tannen and Justin Myers, former Oregon coach, and current Special Assistant to the Athletic Director, Neal Zoumboukos referred to the UO-BSU game as “nut-cutting time”. Considering the regime I had just eschewed, my ears perked up at the mention of this reference because I had never heard that term before yesterday.

It’s legit. And oh-so apropos.

I don’t know what nuts Zoomer was talking about (although, I could probably take a guess - filbert?), but he had this game nailed. I think Zoomer thought Oregon would pull out a victory. But in just about every aspect of the game, he said that it was a push between Oregon and Boise State, with the exception of Oregon’s advantage on the offensive line. And he was right about that point too, much to the chagrin of Oregon fans

• Why does Boise State’s combination of orange and blue look so sharp? They are complimentary colors, providing a nice, pleasing contrast, making the other appear brighter.

On the other sideline, Oregon’s green and yellow are analogous colors, adjacent colors on a color wheel, offering more nuances with a richer appearance.

Lots of meanings there, folks. Do with it as you will.

Here endeth the color theory lesson.

“Pass the beer nuts…”: 10 Quick Hits

1. LeGarrette Blount has hurdled more when it counts in the last two games than Liu Xiang has in the Olympics over the last four years.

2. How do you describe those new, cutting-edge Oregon Marching Band uniforms? That’s easy. They’re tracksuits! Each and every band member is now a gold chain and wife-beater t-shirt away from admittance into the witness protection program. Nike, Tony Soprano wants his wardrobe back!

3. What’s worse than Pac-10 officials? WAC officials.

4. I guess they are right. Running the ball for the first forty-five minutes really does set up the pass!

5. What’s worse than WAC officials? PAC-10 officials who review plays while highly trained medical professionals examine an injured, immobilized, and motionless player laying on the field.

6. You know what else sets up the pass? A quarterback who is called on, and permitted, to throw the ball

(Oh, no. I’m now done for about the next two or three hours: “The Fifth Element” is on TNT. Highly underrated movie. Luke Perry’s best work. And Chris Tucker’s, too.)

7. No, no, no. Fans weren’t booing the play calling. Fans were saying, “Throoo”, as in throoo the ball.

8. The new marching band uniforms are about as cutting-edge as the band’s song section: “Jesus Christ Superstar” and “Aquarius”. Even the strongest supporters of the ecumenical movement would be hard-pressed to reconcile the world-views of “Jesus Christ Superstar” and “Hair”. Can’t the band just learn, and pay for, some new music and avoid these weird on-field religious, philosophical, and cultural clashes?

9. Darron Thomas will not be the recipient of this week’s “Uncle Rico Quarterback Award”, sponsored by Big J’s Restaurant, because coach put him in for the fourth quarter.  But could he throw it over the Coburg Hills?  Hmmm…

10. No-Love Triangle: Oregon, Boise State, Oklahoma. Wasn’t it a bit odd watching Dennis Dixon’s fake “Statue of Liberty” play against Michigan last year on Duck Vision while playing Boise State?  And didn’t Oregon’s comeback against Oklahoma come to mind at some point in the fourth quarter as fans were pouring out of the stadium?  Nuts…

“Nuts…”: Post-game Late Hits

• I noticed a full-page ad in the Sunday edition of The Register-Guard promoting Oregon Sports Network programming on Comcast.  It also included a call-to-action for Duck fans to call their cable or satellite provider if they were not getting OSN programming.  Passing the buck to Duck fans? Or a measured response to broadcasters?

• Half the home schedule is over.  And Boise State will be the best team the Ducks face at Autzen Stadium this year.  It’s downhill from now on, right?  But I’m not exactly sure what I mean by that.

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September 16,, 2008
By Jay Jones

Been looking forward to this for a while…

Brother vs. brother…

Duck vs. Bronco…

Wilcox vs. Wilcox…

Josh vs. Justin…

Don’t expect hard-hitting questions or revealing answers about the game on Saturday…just a couple of brothers talking football.

Here’s Josh…and Justin…

As the Boise State game comes closer, I used my media prowess to secure an interview with Boise State’s Defensive Coordinator Justin Wilcox. I was only allowed the interview via email and only 10 questions. I believe this is what you could classify as real in depth hard hitting journalism:

1. Who was your favorite duck growing up?
Justin: 3-way tie. Latin Berry, Bill Musgrave, and Anthony Newman. Those guys were awesome. Oh and of course, Reggie Jordan.

2. Favorite Sea Bass move?
Justin: Definitely wearing the championship belt out to dinner after a successful evening at the fairgrounds. Classy.

3. Best game(s) you ever have been involved with? Fiesta Bowl or Nerf night games on the lawn?
Justin: The Fiesta bowl was awesome but there were some great diving catches and big hits made on the back lawn. Tough call.

4. How many footballs did we lose in the hedge or under the deck?
Justin: I would venture to guess around 6 - 7 dozen. Seems as though we always found them 2 years later with mold and worms growing on them. Maybe that’s why I had a bad throwing motion as a QB, slippery moldy footballs.

5. If you could recruit on player off a movie with HS football who would it be?
Justin: Lucas. No questions. Heart of a lion, won over the hot girl. Easy choice even with his Buddy Holly glasses.

6. Most disgusting Oregon player you ever met - funny wise?
Justin: Deke Moen. Can’t comment any more on that. He’s one of my best buddy’s, but gee-whiz.

7. Can you comment on Naggi’s driving skills down our road?
Justin: If the road is under water most people would stop and not try to cross without knowing where the pavement is. Nate is not most people. Awesome guy, great football coach, funny dude, terrible driver.

8. Better Josh hair cut? Mullet or bowl?
Justin: Both were fine choices but you really would have taken the cake with a Bowl /mullet/rat tail combo. The chicks wouldn’t have known what to do. I guess it’s never too late though. . . .

9. Favorite Pre game CD - HS, college, coaching.
Justin: Pregame CD in high school was Pearl Jam (Ten); college would have to be a mix - I listened to a lot of stuff in college; coaching is more Van Morrison and a lot of Springsteen. Does that mean I’m old?

10. Best Oregon memory?
Justin: Outside of football there are too many to count with the great friends I have. Football wise there were some awesome times and wins but a couple stories that stick out include: the “Cal Bus Trip” story that Eric Winn told every single week for 3 years, Nate wearing his headphones to dinner when we all went out to eat one night. Jed Boice / AJ feeley…’nuff said. Matt Smith being older than the coaches…when he was a sophomore. Pete Sirmon and Deke fighting over spilled grape juice.. . like a real fight. Blake Spence in meetings. It was an unbelievable time.

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September 16, 2008
By Jay Jones

Watching paint dry.

That’s what watching Oregon’s first baseball practice in 27 years was like.

But, at least, there was baseball.

And here are a few photos from this morning’s practice at Thurston High School in Springfield.

Before we get to the photos, I want to share with you a couple of thoughts from practice:

• Coach Horton is going to emphasize defense over offense.
• Practice was heavy on the philosophy and fundamentals of baseball
• And I overheard one of the staff members describing the practice as about as interesting as “watching paint dry.”

With that said…

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By Jay Jones
Editor, Musket & Mallard Magazine*

Instead of texting each other during games, DSN co-owner Ryan Welch suggested that I stop bothering him and text myself…and put them to some good use in the form of “10 Quick Hits”.

Here are a couple of pre-game warmup hits:

(As I edit these, I have to confess to being a little bit distracted. “Tombstone” is on The History Channel. And it’s one of those movies that whenever it’s on, I pretty much stop whatever I’m doing and watch it. Kurt Russell. Val Kilmer (should have won the Best Supporting Actor Academy Award). Oregon’s Sam Elliott. Bill Paxton. Michael Biehn. Powers Boothe. Charlton Heston. Billy frickin’ Zane! If only Michael Ironside could have found his way on to set! But I digress…)

• Cal-Maryland: The pukiest thing I saw on the field, other than Jahvid Best’s breakfast and Cal’s overall play, was the safety Cal got right before half-time that was not called by the officials. At least the Wahsington-BYU officiating crew wrongly made the right call, as opposed to wrongly not making the obvious call.

• Cal-Maryland: Squib kicks and on-side kicks (with over 7:00 remaining) never make sense.

• Traveling East is way more difficult that traveling West. It’s always easier to gain time than to lose time.

• WSU-Baylor: Ike claimed the Washington State football team as a victim. The Cougars made the trip and played the game on Friday.

• Saturday College Football counter-programming; Notting Hill on USA, Forces of Nature, Sleepless in Seattle, Failure to Launch, Friends, Sex & the City on TBS

Warmed-up? Let’s go then…

1. Purdue’s kids choo-choo vs. Oregon’s Harley-Davidson: Oregon’s Harley-Davidson.

2. Stacy Dales vs. Erin Andrews: Erin Andrews.

3. Dan Fouts (Oregon) vs. Bob Griese (Purdue): Dan Fouts.

4. I hope ESPN/ABC play-by-play announcer Brad Nessler worked out all of his “Ducks” puns:
• “Roper throws a rope.”
• “Flock of Ducks.”
• “On the pond.”
• “…productivity from a Byrd…”
• “…both wings on him…”

5. After that tongue lashing, you think Roper will be calling any more timeouts at the beginning of future fourth quarters?

6. (Text message) Better to face adversity now, as opposed to later?

7 - 9. Ran out of steam. But I feel my second wind coming on…

10. I’m not the highly trained medical professional in my family, but I have to ask this question: is there any correlation between the implementation of this version of the spread option offense and the injuries to Oregon quarterbacks over the last two seasons? I’ll explore this more in a future entry.

Post-game Late Hits:

• USC’s uniforms are just hideous. All gnarled and nasty. Get some new unis, USC.

• The USC Song Girls’ have the performance range of the Marching Band’s repertoire.

• Alternate History: If Dennis Dixon had not been injured last season and Oregon went on to win the rest of their games, including the National Championship, would Terrelle Pryor still have chosen Ohio St.?

• What’s more likely: Oregon facing Ohio St. in the Terrelle Pryor Bowl or Penn St. in the 1995+13 Bowl?

• Chris Harper vs. Terrelle Pryor: Push?

* There is no such thing Musket & Mallard Magazine. There should be. But there isn’t. Although, there is a Horse & Hound Magazine.

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September 14, 2008
By Jay Jones

The University of Oregon football team moved up, and down, in this week’s polls.

In the AP Top 25 poll, the Ducks moved down from No. 16 to No. 17, flip-flopping with Penn St.

In the USA Today poll, Oregon moved up to No. 12, from last week’s No. 14 ranking.

Swapping positions with Penn St. in the AP Top 25 poll is understandable considering Penn St.’s decisive wins over Coastal Carolina (Oregon’s Utah State), Oregon State (Oregon’s Purdue?), Syracuse (Oregon’s Washington), and Oregon’s less than decisive win over Purdue. It will be interesting to see how Penn St. performs at Purdue in a couple of weeks. A rematch of the 1995 Oregon-Penn St. Rose Bowl still remains a real, interesting possibility.

Actually, the move up in the USA Today poll is little bit perplexing. If University of Oregon football was a NYSE company, its stock would be heading down because of its performance against Purdue and the loss of Roper at quarterback.

Fortunately for Oregon, it think college football this year is pretty mediocre.

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